Foolish Babe April 10th, 2008

For two years, I have stared out into my expansive front yard, my mind racing with landscaping ideas. I am not a gardener. I know very little about plants and soil. Ask me what the difference between acidic soil and loamy soil is and I will answer, “one is acidic and the other is loamy.” That’s all I know. The prospect of figuring out what kind of plants, flowers and trees would thrive in my yard intimidated me to the point where I decided that I’d rather continue staring out the window onto an imaginary garden rather than get out there and start making said imaginary garden into a reality.

And let’s not forget that plants can’t just be planted willy-nilly style. Even if I got to the point where I had picked out a few bushes and plants, where in the hell would I plant them? What if where I decided to plant them was the absolutely wrong place and all my plants died within two days of planting them? Or worse, what if my neighbors gathered around making jokes and laughing at how ridiculous my yard looked? Yes, my friends, I was afraid of being a blundering fool!

So, with a cup of coffee in hand, I continued to spend spring days staring out onto a make-believe garden filled with flowers and exotic plants, bushes, and trees. I imagined myself walking my property, taking note of which flowers were beginning to bloom and which ones needed pruning, my senses swimming in a colorful and textured landscape. And after my stroll, I imagined myself sitting in a white gazebo, situated in the middle of my garden, reading a book, birds perched on the gazebo’s railing. Ah, yes, quite the daydream.

Unfortunately, so many of us spend too much time daydreaming about the things we’d like to do someday, when we have more time, more money, more skills, more…

Sad, isn’t it?

I was itching to garden, yet my fear of ridicule prevented me from doing so.

Well, no more. In the true spirit of Blundering Fools, I decided not to spend this spring walking through an imaginary garden. I buckled down and got real serious. I read up on different plants, soil types, fertilizers etc. On my quest for knowledge, I perused online gardening stores, blogs, and discussion forums. After deciding which plants I wanted, I placed an online order and also visited my local nursery. I was filled with excitement and couldn’t wait for the weekend to arrive so I could get out there and start planting.

I got downright dirty, pulling weeds, raking the ground, digging holes, mulching etc. Hell, I think I have muscles where flab once existed.

And the best part of all this is that I got to spend time with my husband and children. My kids helped mulch and water the plants. My husband helped dig holes, pull weeds, mulch, and chase our children. And he did it all with a smile on his face. Well, for the most part, that is.

I still have a long way to go. Did I mention I have an expansive yard? But I’m getting there and I can honestly say I feel healthier and happier. When I look at my garden, I’m overwhelmed with feelings of pride and love for my family.

In closing (that sounds so formal, doesn’t it?), I would like to share the following article which Foolish Cat shared with me yesterday. I hope you find it as inspirational as I did. Click Here for the article and, as always, Blunder on, Fools!

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Foolish Cat April 8th, 2008

So the L.A. Times has officially retracted its story that Sean Combs - Diddy - was involved in the 1994 beating of Tupac Shakur in New York City. The story offered that the assault was the beginning of the war between East and West coast rappers that included the murders of Shakur and The Notorious B.I.G., and that Combs was a major influence in its proliferation.

Turns out the story was all bullshit, and was based on forged FBI documents. Forgeries that were apparently done by a small-time, sociopathic nobody while he was serving time in prison! Well done L.A. Times. Let that sink in: The Times printed a story accusing a wealthy celebrity of felony assault based on forged documents from a life-long criminal currently serving time for various crimes, including fraud.

And you know what, if it hadn’t been Diddy, say it had been me accused, everybody in the world would still believe it to be true. The only reason the story was retracted is because Diddy is rich - so he can afford the legal firepower - and famous - so reporters and fans listen when he speaks. He has the resources to wage war on a large newspaper and come away owning it. I don’t.

And for this reason, I have officially decided not to believe a story reported on any news channel or in any paper, simply because it is written or reported. All conspiracy theories are back on the table. 9/11. JFK. Roswell. I’m serious.

Think about it. Let’s say this story about Diddy was written, and we just accepted it as true - after all, the paper printed it. Nobody raised hell, it was just a story. And then someone came along and said it was all a lie. The paper used fake FBI documents forged by a fast-talking, crook while he was serving time. And the LA Times got a hold of these docs and printed the story. It’s all a lie. Who would believe that? There would be so many questions. What’s the motive? How did he forge these docs? How could the paper and a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter fall for this? It’s all too outrageous.

Until it’s not.

My new stance on the media doesn’t mean I won’t believe anything, it just means I’ll believe it if it makes sense. If something seems wrong, I won’t ignore the problems I have with the story. Especially in an election year.

In most cases, we are at the mercy of the media for our information - we can’t be everywhere to see news as it unfolds. So I guess the best we can do is to find those things that interest us, and then get as many different versions of the story as we can. The truth probably will still not exist in any of the stories, but hopefully we can decipher and decide what we believe in our hearts to be true.

Blunder on, fools.

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Foolish Cat April 4th, 2008

Yesterday the CDC came out with a report that 1 in 50 infants is a victim of maltreatment, and a third of those cases occur in children less than a week old. The report was very clear that this report was not about new parents learning the ropes, it was about intentional abuse or neglect to children less than a year old.

1 in 50. Maybe that number doesn’t sound high to some people, or maybe it sounds about right, I don’t know. To me, it sounds incredibly depressing. Obviously it’s depressing because of the fact that the most vulnerable creatures on earth are not getting their most basic needs met, but it’s also because I’m reading this report today on the fortieth anniversary of Dr. King’s assassination.

In terms of civil rights, I know this country has come a long way since 1968, and this November might prove to be the crowning achievement if Barack Obama is elected president. But how far have we come as people if we can’t give our infants the love and compassion they need? Actually, forget love and compassion - the food and shelter and supervision they need!

1 out of 50 isn’t a lot, you say? Well what’s acceptable? What if 1 out of every 50 times you drove your car, the brakes didn’t work right? What if every 50th cup of coffee you drank had poison in it? You didn’t die, but you got sick and had to go to the hospital. Every time you drank that 50th cup it made you a little sicker, a little weaker, and a little less thrilled about your life. There is no acceptable number. And unlike you who could just quit drinking coffee, children, infants especially, have no choices.

Maybe I’m overreacting, but it sickens me that this country can find the resources to do anything it sets its mind to, while putting so little value in our kids. And I’m not talking about the government. I mean every parent or caregiver whose responsibility it is to keep a child secure and make him strong for the future. Their future is your future. Next time we complain that kids these days don’t respect their elders, maybe we should ask ourselves “Why?”

Sorry, it pisses me off. Blunder on.

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Foolish Cat April 3rd, 2008

For those of you who don’t know who Sally Kern is, she is the Oklahoma state representative who was heard telling a group of around fifty constituents about the evils of homosexuality on a YouTube clip last month. She talks of the agenda to corrupt the children of the country and says that homosexuality is “a bigger threat than terrorism.” It’s pretty revolting stuff, and really quite shocking and ghastly that the words are coming from the mouth of an elected official.

Of course, the outcry has been swift and Ellen DeGeneres is involved and the headlines have traveled overseas to, once again, generally embarrass the U.S. and our politics. So be it. One more crazy person slips through the cracks to a position of power and what are you gonna do? Shit happens, right?

Well, maybe, until you see the report today that says over 1,000 people attended a rally to support Representative Kern where she was chanted and cheered for “standing up for the truth of God’s Word”. 1,000 people may not seem like a lot in a state of, I don’t know, 3 or 4 million, but that’s 1,000 people who took off work on a Wednesday to come support a speaker of hate. How many were children? How many people couldn’t get off work? How many secretly agree with everything she said but don’t feel comfortable making it known in a public place? More than a handful I’m sure.

And don’t misunderstand: I believe people have the right to say and believe anything they want; if I didn’t it would be complete hypocrisy. But when certain things are said by Government, everyone needs to perk up the ears. And when those things are said by government and are then heralded and begin receiving support, it’s time to sound the alarm. Some of those things include: limiting what we can say, see, write, or hear; limiting ways we can defend ourselves; SINGLING OUT A GROUP OF PEOPLE AS CORRUPTERS OF CHILDREN AND A THREAT TO NATIONAL SECURITY, etc.

Ms. Kern’s words are not just misguided, religious rhetoric; in my opinion, they can only be interpreted as words of genocide. Think about it, if you were compelled to stop a group of people from corrupting the nation’s children and threatening the security of the United States, how would you do it? Oh yeah, and did I mention you’re doing it IN THE NAME OF GOD?!? Sound familiar?

The question then, Representative Kern, is not whether homosexuality is a bigger threat to the U.S. than terrorism, it’s whether terrorism is a bigger threat to our country than politicians like you.

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Foolish Cat March 27th, 2008

Today is the 45th birthday of Quentin Tarantino, who, in my opinion, wrote the greatest screenplay of all time when he wrote Pulp Fiction.

I know the movie isn’t for everyone - there’s too much violence or talking, and the non-linear storyline can be distracting - that’s understandable; people have different tastes. But I’ve seen the movie at least a dozen times, and I think the true genius of the script is that it is completely lacking cliché. Every character, scene, song, and line spoken seems to come from nowhere and reminds us of nothing we’ve seen before. In Hollywood, that is rare.

Literary novelists know the evil of cliché, and in a good novel they’re hard to find. Most Hollywood scripts, however - comedy scripts in particular - Jesus Christ!

If I see a comedy trailer of a guy getting hit in the groin, I absolutely will not watch that movie. I don’t care if it stars Robert DeNiro and Meryl Streep, is directed by Martin Scorsese, is written by Steven Spielberg and produced by George Lucas. I won’t see that movie! How can writers think that is still funny? Seriously? Who laughs at that? It doesn’t matter if it’s Will Ferrell or Chris Rock or Jim Carrey, the groin shot is just not funny anymore.

And guys in drag? I mean you can’t be serious. Who in his right mind would 1) write a script with a man in drag, or 2) buy a script that has a scene with a man in drag? Some Like It Hot I’ve never seen but is supposedly funny, Tootsie was good at the time but probably is unwatchable today, “Bosom Buddies” is definitely unwatchable today, and anything else is ridiculous to even discuss.

These, of course, are just two of the more egregious physical examples, most of the offenses are in dialogue and are too numerous to really explore. “I don’t know who you are anymore”, “I’m too old for this shit”, “you have to let it go”, etc., etc., etc. It may even seem cliché to call these clichés, but just when you think they’re gone, they pop up in some movie starring Kate Hudson or Martin Lawrence or whoever. If you are a screenwriter and you write one of these lines, or something of similar banality, here’s the fact: you are not trying! You should be ashamed.

And let’s just forget discussion about song choices for soundtracks, but just for the record, as movie songs are concerned, “U Can’t Touch This” and “Super Freak” aren’t funny anymore, and I’m pretty sure they never were.

So here’s the point: the only way to really take your life up a notch is by creating something new for yourself, whether that be a new level of skill, a new experience, a new passion, or just a new way of thinking. Creating and striving to improve are the actions that make us grow. Clichés are the opposite of that. Clichés are the regurgitation of someone else’s creativity. Tarantino knew this and created a masterpiece. We can all learn from this in everyday life.

Even if we have to conform to certain norms to get through the day - “Have a nice day”, “It was a pleasure meeting you”, etc., most of the time we can switch it up. Sure, it’s easy to say “think for yourself”, but when you are bombarded daily by every form of media and all of your friends’ and co-workers’ opinions, it’s not so easy to do. Making a conscious effort to eliminate clichés from our daily dialect, however, is a good start to original thought. So even if you feel compelled to go along with popular opinion in spite of your best instincts, say it in a new, fresh way, and maybe, eventually, your actions will follow.

Blunder forth.

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Foolish Babe March 26th, 2008

Hey, all, Foolish Babe, here.

The Internet is buzzing about, The Adventures of Saffron Sally: A Well-Seasoned Woman, brought to you by author Melanie Lynne Hauser.

From Melanie:

About Sally: Sally is like me. And maybe you. She’s a woman of a certain age (I prefer the term “seasoned” to “middle-aged” or even - shudder - “cougar”) who’s forced to reinvent herself. No longer a young mother and not in any hurry to be a grandmother (double shudder), she’s not sure who she is. Except, maybe, for the first time in a long time, simply - triumphantly - a woman.

Despite all the gloom and doom you read in the news—foreclosures are rising, lenders are going bankrupt, gas prices are up, food prices are up, etc.– spring is here, the flowers are blooming, children are laughing and yes, folks are reading fiction, wonderfully fantastic, fiction.

So, take a break, keep a smile on your face, and get lost in The Adventures of Saffron Sally.

Visit: melanielynnehauser.com

Now go read and blunder on, fools!

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Foolish Cat March 24th, 2008

Part of taking life up a notch, in my opinion, is recognizing greatness where it exists and taking away whatever we can to use for ourselves. Even if it is in something we have no interest in or understanding of, the attitudes and behaviors of greatness can be extracted. You don’t have to care about physics or understand relativity to recognize Einstein’s greatness.

Neither do you have to care about or understand golf to recognize and learn from the greatness of Tiger Woods.

Settle down, I’m not saying that Woods’ accomplishments and prowess are as important to humanity as Einstein’s, but I do believe that he has achieved a level of consciousness in his particular field that is seen very rarely in a lifetime. Just because it’s sports doesn’t make it any less remarkable.

In a culture of airbrushes and lip synching, it’s become increasingly difficult to recognize the quality of purity; so when it comes along, you better recognize. There is no gimmick, no enhancement, and no excessive hype (okay, maybe a little), to account for the success of woods; instead, he has dominated a sport that is indomitable.

He lost today for the first time in a while, and the whole time I was rooting against him. I am no Tiger lover - I always pull for the guy closest to him to step up and take it away (they almost never do). But every time I watch him I know I am witnessing pure, measurable greatness.

How often do you get to experience that on a daily, weekly, or yearly basis? How often in a lifetime? Your grandkids won’t care about the music you liked or the movies you saw or who won American Idol in 2008, but I guarantee they’ll ask about Tiger.

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Foolish Cat March 18th, 2008

Barack Obama gave a very moving speech today on race relations in America, a speech that may turn out to be the silver lining in a controversy involving his long-time friend and spiritual adviser Jeremiah Wright, who was shown this past week saying hateful and anti-American passages during several sermons over the past seven years.

In my opinion, the success of Obama’s campaign has shown that the racial divide in America is perhaps not as big a deal as we’ve been led to believe. If it was, based strictly on population, Obama wouldn’t have a chance vs. McCain or Clinton.

However, the issue does remain; ninety percent of blacks in Mississippi didn’t vote for Obama because they like his health care policy.

So what of it?

Forever we have heard, and even today by Obama, that we should vote strictly on the issues; then, the powers that be, proceed to tell us exactly what the issues are (e.g. health care, Iraq, etc.). But who decides that? Why can’t race be an issue? Why can’t religion be an issue? Or sex? Or whatever? Who are the candidates to tell us what is an issue and what isn’t? Who is the media to tell us?

I agree that we shouldn’t factor in someone’s race or sex in our voting, but is it OK to factor in the candidates opinions about other races and sexes? Every pundit and analyst, with their own set of issues and agendas, is attempting to tell us what the Rev. Wright issue should or shouldn’t mean to us. It’s ridiculous. We are adults, with the same ability to see and hear as they are. It means to us what it means. For some that will be nothing and for others it will change their minds. It isn’t wrong or right, it is a difference of equally valid opinion.

And why does someone else’s issue have to be mine and vice versa? Is it a sin for a retired Federal employee with great benefits and no kids not to put health care and education at the top of his issues list? If a twenty-year old college student doesn’t make where the candidates stand on prescription drugs for seniors of vital importance, is she shallow and ignorant?

The fact is, at the end of the day, most of us will vote for the person we think will personally benefit us and our families the most.
And after all the speeches are given that promise us everything, we have to decide who that is from the gut. This we tend to do by determining who is most likely, on a human level, to associate and sympathize with our causes. Does a woman voting for Hillary simply because she is a woman surprise us? How about a Vietnam veteran voting for McCain? Of course not. And people using race as a voting issue shouldn’t surprise us either. So let us recognize race as the issue that it is, factor it as much or as little as we like, and blunder on.

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Foolish Cat March 14th, 2008

In the literal sense, as far as fools are concerned, this week will always belong to Eliot Spitzer. But to keep the award in the true spirit of SUCCESSFUL blundering, this week’s winner is Madonna, who, on Monday, was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

I’m no huge Madonna fan so I’m not going to gush over her achievements and longevity and whatever; she’s just a’ight. But damn, who would have thought the walking fad with the ditzy/slutty persona of the mid-eighties would be in the R&R Hall of Fame? Not many. She seemed destined to be an eighties afterthought, even with all of her hits. She just didn’t have the talent, it seemed, to carry her through once the novelty wore off. Kind of like every “boy band” of the nineties.

But, obviously, none of that was true; here she is and has always been (since 1982). Her body of work is exceptional, and even though she’s tried way too hard to stay relevant for the past ten years (at least), she’s always managed to stay a star. That’s hard to do in music. Some stars disappear for a couple years, and then come back, usually more mellow and noticeably reinvented. Madonna has never gone away - she reinvents herself all the time right in front of everyone.

So much respect for the career and congrats for the HOF.

Blunder on, Ms. Ciccone (Ritchie)

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Foolish Cat March 13th, 2008

If you’re not familiar with Treffly Coyne, then go here and read the details. If you are familiar, then you know that Ms. Coyne is appearing in court today for endangering her 2-year old daughter by leaving her unattended in a car while she was a relatively short distance away. The charges are expected to be dropped. Personally, with my kids in the same scenario as I understand it, I wouldn’t have left my child alone; poor parenting choices, however, should not be crimes. The law in this case is egregious, as was the law enforcement, and I don’t know anyone, based on the letter of this law, who wouldn’t be in violation (if you put your kids in their carseats in your driveway and run back into your house for your cell phone or sunglasses, you are in violation; if you have kids and you have never done this, congratulations, you are Ned Flanders).

But why is this a story? Blogs of all types have picked it up and run with it and the major news sites keep us updated hourly. Why? Is this some landmark case of the government crossing the boundaries and heading towards a fascist regime trying to control every aspect of the family? Not really, that happened years ago. So what of it?

The story is about a 36-year old, pretty, white, middle-class WASP who was giving money to charity during the alleged offense. Sound familiar? Of course - that’s everyone!

Okay, it’s not actually everyone, but it is the stereotypical representation of a good old-fashioned wholesome American (GOFWA). The Mayberry type just trying to live a little and give a little.

So, now, if a GOFWA is getting screwed, maybe you’re next!

Don’t get me wrong, I feel badly for Coyne and think she IS getting screwed, but young, poor, [fill in your color of choice] get screwed just as badly everyday and nobody cares. Do you think if this story, everything else being equal as far as distance and sightline and children, involved a nineteen-year old, single black woman running into a liquor store to buy a pack of cigarettes, that there would be the outcry? Please. Nobody would even know it happened because the papers certainly wouldn’t care. And if we did hear about it, maybe we would still disagree with the arrest, but how many of us would judge her for her age with three kids, or her smoking habit, or leaving the car outside a liquor store? All of that is irrelevant to the law, but would somehow be used as rationalization.

So anyway, I hope Treffly Coyne goes free and gets a big fat apology from the police, I only wish there was a long line of people behind her waiting for the same.

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