Foolish Cat March 11th, 2008

Of all the bad axioms that have been drilled into our heads since we were old enough to defy (I guess that means around 2 years old), perhaps none has been more destructive than this one: “do as I say, not as I do”.

These eight words are magnificent in their insanity in that they both rationalize hypocrisy while commanding us not to question authority. This premise has been used by kings, priests and generals for thousands of years and has been the driving force and downfall of myriad civilizations. It’s also been used by countless parents to get their kids to eat cauliflower while they’re mixing a gimlet and puffing on a Pall Mall.

But kids and Branch Davidians aside, are their still people in this country that listen to that crap? I pose this question, of course, because of “Client 9″, aka Eliot Spitzer.

As I write this, Governor Spitzer is about to resign or be impeached, but what I’m most interested in is what becomes of him three, four and five years down the road. Is it possible that a hypocrite of this magnitude can resurrect the trust of the public?

Of course it is!

I’ve lived my whole life just outside of Washington, D.C., where I witnessed the miracle of Marion Barry’s second term as mayor (after all, that goddamn bitch DID set him up!). The mayor of a city ravaged by drugs and crime was caught on video smoking crack with a whore, and was given a second chance as mayor. MAYOR! Did I mention he was SMOKING CRACK!

Jimmy Swaggert and Jim Bakker would get prostitutes all the time. There’d be pictures and first-hand accounts and repeat offenses and So What? Jim Bakker would steal money, commit fraud and go to jail. AND? They both have ministries today that make millions of dollars. “Do as I say, not as I do.” You see, that way, the people in charge can continue controlling things while still having all the fun.

It’s called corruption. And, if this is all true, Eliot Spitzer is corrupt.

If you are an elected official, in any capacity, you simply can’t have it both ways; the slope becomes too slippery. For example, let us say The Emperor’s Club, of which Mr. Spitzer was a client in Washington, decided to expand operations to New York, would the governor be so aggressive in cracking down on that particular business? Hard to imagine he would. Not only is he benefiting from their services, he is also held tightly by the balls. Maybe they even get bold and start asking for favors. Tickets to a show, Jeter autographs, use of the mansion for “private parties”, etc.

Whatever. I don’t live in New York, so I don’t really care. But I know who not to trust if he comes knocking for votes in my neighborhood. And if you are into axioms then remember this one: actions speak louder than words.

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