Foolish Cat January 15th, 2008

Today I watched the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee’s hearing on George Mitchell’s report on steroid use in Major League Baseball. It was televised all morning on ESPN.

The report was sanctioned and paid for by Major League baseball, and really has nothing to do with the Government or the people of the United States. Yet this committee felt it necessary to get involved.

Why?

Well, many of the Representatives, as well as George Mitchell himself, in an effort to validate the time and resources being taken up by this hearing, attempted to answer the critics of Congress’ involvement by saying, in a nutshell, “We’re protecting the kids.”

In other words, Congress is saying, since MLB has not been able to govern themselves on the matter of keeping players off performance-enhancing drugs, then it is the Government’s obligation to step in because, after all, kids watch baseball, baseball players are using drugs, and drugs are dangerous. So, if players are ignoring the dangers of drugs to get by, then kids will to.

Maybe they will maybe they wont.

But is that why Congress is involved? Not even close.

There’s no question that steroids are dangerous, and kids (presumably teenagers, since they are the ones that begin to see the payoffs of excelling in sports and would have the resources to obtain steroids) are probably at greater risk because of the already changing hormone levels in their bodies.

But lots of drugs are dangerous and lots of famous people do drugs. So why isn’t the Motion Picture Association in front of Congress talking about Lindsay Lohan’s drug and alcohol abuse? Kids idolize her more than any baseball player. Why isn’t the recording industry on trial? I’ll put the number of rock stars doing drugs up against baseball players any day of the week. And the level of popularity isn’t even close.

So what’s the reason?

It’s twofold. First, the majority of those running the country are Generation X and middle-aged men - children of the fifties, sixties and seventies. When these men were young, baseball was king, and the players who reigned supreme were heroes to many of those in charge of our country now. The players back then had a reputation of being accessible to the fans as well as fair and respectful to the game of baseball. There is surely a bit of revisionist history involved here, but, as to the fairness and respect for the game, the point seems consistent with the numbers and records put up at the time.

But now the Dark Ages come along. Players have the reputations of being generally aloof, overpaid, and cynical, with no respect for the players of yesteryear or baseball itself. And they’re cheating.

But the cheating alone isn’t enough; it’s the fact that the cheating of today’s players is wiping out the records of these mens’ childhoods. Now, not only are these jerks getting all the money, they’re supplanting MY heroes as the greatest of all time.

At that point, Congress stepped in.

But there is another point.

Let us not discount the fact that the difference between baseball and, say, show business, is that baseball is a game with an unknown outcome which means: there’s a line in Vegas.

I don’t want to imply some huge conspiracy theory involving bookmakers and gamblers - I’m not even sure what angle I would take or what the underlying ramifications could be. Presumably they would be that performance-enhancement drugs tip the odds in a certain direction and make oddsmakers very interested.

Now we typically don’t associate casual gambling with baseball - it’s more of a football thing - but there are Vegas lines on every game, and, if gambling has nothing to do with it and we’re just worried about the kids, then why don’t we care about professional wrestling? I’ll bet there are a lot more eleven year old kids who can tell you the reigning WWE champion than can tell you who won the World Series last year. Wrestling’s a sport, right? It’s at least athletic. The difference is that it’s generally accepted to be fixed and seen as entertainment. No Vegas lines. But steroids? Please.

I understand that Congress needs to assuage the skepticism of those questioning the hearings on baseball, and the reasons I gave, even though they’re the truth, are obviously not going to fly. But hiding behind “The Kids”? What a joke.

Blunder on, Fools!

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