Foolish Cat January 4th, 2008

Here at B.F. we have created a new, weekly award to honor those that have gone out of their way to keep the homo sapien line intact and keep us from reaching the next stage of evolution. It is our “Blundering Fool of the Week” and will be awarded every Friday. Neanderthal’s never had anything like this, and look where they ended up.

We will try to not repeat an award (W. would probably get it every week) and we will not reward any particular blunder that causes direct, intentional harm to the rest of humanity (this would probably disqualify W. every week).

This week’s award goes to: Britney Spears.

The details of last night’s hostage situation and hospitalization are still hazy, and will surely be summed up with “misunderstandings”, “a lot of pressure”, and “probation” over the next few days, weeks and months. But whatever the latest deal is has become irrelevant; when fame, especially the fame of her magnitude, tips to infamy, it is grotesquely blunderful, and sometimes even just grotesque (O.J. Simpson).

Now to keep the award in perspective, the scales had probably tipped months, or even years ago, but last night’s debacle added another boulder to Infamy’s side that may never tip back. When every story you read about a person contains the word “bizarre” or “disturbing”, that’s probably a good sign that Fame is losing ground fast.

It really is rather sad to watch when pop star fame, which has a relative life span of an eye blink anyway, is manipulated and disfigured into an undead skeleton of itself. Five or six years of chart-topping success, with the privilege of being paid beyond what you could ever reasonably spend to make original music, should be cared for daily and watered consistently. And if after the organic action of making music or movies or writing or whatever isn’t enough, and the fame shrivels up to irrelevance or obscurity, it should be left alone to die peacefully. There are few redwoods in the forest (Rolling Stones, U2); most acts are daisies at best.

Now, I know that staying in the “news” is not necessarily Britney’s decision; tribes of subhumans camping outside her residence waiting for her to run over her butler is hardly her seeking attention. But let’s call a spade a spade. The drunken, bar-hopping binges with Paris and Lindsay and whoever are obvious photo op shopping sprees. But so was marrying Jason Alexander. Marrying Kevin Federline. And yes, I’ll say it: Having kids!

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her kids, she probably does. But what was the point? She obviously doesn’t feel like dealing with them and never has. And when she does deal with them she’s sloppy and irresponsible. And that’s just when the cameras are rolling!

Or maybe that’s the point. When the cameras are rolling things go wrong all the time. What bad luck. It wouldn’t have anything to do with keeping the press interested. Would it?

Congratulations Brit! You are the inaugural recipient of the “Blundering Fool of the Week”. Blunder on.

• The Daily Blunder , Hollywood , Blundering Fool of the Week
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